love

How To: Write a Love Note

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Let’s pretend that we’re waltzing through the ballroom of an Elizabethan manor—corsets cinched tightly across bosoms and hands clutching layers of sheer fabric. Or perhaps it’s 1916 and you’re daydreaming about your honey coming home from the front line—imagining the quickening of each breath as you hold each other. It could even be 1974, and you’ve just arrived at your Aunt Martha’s house for the whole summer, lamenting over how you won’t be seeing your sweetie for three entire months. What choice do you have but to pen word after word of careful and adoring prose for your darling?

While it may seem rather archaic in today’s technological world, the effort and intimacy that goes into a handwritten (or typed) love letter will not go unnoticed by your partner, and writing down your affections is a great way to reflect on how wonderful, sexy, and special that person is for you.      

Love notes don’t need to be Shakespearean sonnets, but they’re a nice way to come right out and say how you feel about your love. Whether you want to write a steamy description of everything you’d like to do when you get home from work tonight, a list of all the reasons you’re happy to be with someone, or a heartfelt note reminiscing about the joys you’ve experienced with your partner over the years, this guide will help you get started.

This guide is split up into three styles of notes to get you started, but most of the tips and tricks will be helpful regardless of what type of letter you’re trying to write.

Naughty and Oh So Nice

Oh baby, if you want to get him hot and bothered, details are key. Sexy love notes are a really fun way to get your partner turned on and thinking of you, and he can keep the naughty gift to read over and over.

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When you’re writing any type of personal letter, you want to try to have a conversational tone—there’s no need to be formal—so reading what you’ve written out loud is an easy way to see if it sounds like normal speech or not. Starting by telling why you wanted to write a letter is a good way to begin naturally, and you can transition into the descriptions from there.

i.e. “Hey honeybun, I’m sitting at work and I can’t stop thinking about last night, so I wanted to write you a little note telling you about all my favorite parts…”

Once you get into the meat of the note, don’t be afraid to be specific about what exactly is so sexy about what your partner does, or what sexy things you want to do. Here are some example sentences:

I love the way your hands move so slowly/quickly/roughly down my inner thigh/hips/back…

I want to kiss from your jaw to your belly button and then…

Let me wrap my legs/arms around your hips/shoulders as you pull of my shirt/bra…

Something to remember is that as the author of this note, you are creating the voice behind it, and you can be as tasteful or as provocative as you’re comfortable with.

Sentence Starters:

  • I love how you…

  • Remember when I…

  • When you do (sexy thing), it makes me feel…

  • I want to/you to…

  • I like it when…

Check out the word banks below for ideas of different words you can use to mix things up:

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Hot Grammar Tip: Don’t forget that most adjectives can be changed into adverbs like softly, slowly, and roughly!

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Steamy Tip: While you’re perfectly welcome to use bold terms like penis, cock, dick, vagina, pussy, clit, etc, you can also allude to those areas without being as blatant. For example, instead of saying, I love when your dick is in my pussy, try, I love the way you feel inside me. Or rather than, I could feel your hard cock against me, you can say, I could feel how excited you were as my hand reached between your legs. This is not to say there’s anything wrong with the first sentences, but if you don’t ever speak that way, you may not feel comfortable writing that way either.

To finish up our tips for a smokin’ love note, here’s a brief example of a few lines:

…We climbed into the backseat of my car. I was wearing that silky yellow skirt with no panties, and Ain’t No Mountain High Enough was playing softly from the radio. I remember your lips tracing the length of my neck and the way our breathing seemed to match up. It was cramped so we decided to get out of the car, and you gently laid me down on my back across the hood. Your head was haloed by the light of the moon above you, and the car creaked beneath my shoulder blades…

Overall, just remember to have fun with it—your lover is going to enjoy whatever sexy little story you come up with!

Love Lists

Love lists are my favorite type of I love you to give to my partner, and I think they’re the easiest and most fun to write. Essentially, a love list is just a list of things/reasons/memories that you love about your dearest, but it’s not quite as simple as a numbered or bullet point list (though you can always make one of those too!). Think about Harry’s speech at the end of When Harry Met Sally, and that’s pretty much exactly it.

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I generally pick a theme for a love list, so here are some possible themes:

  • Cute things your darling does without realizing

  • Plans for lots of things you want to do together in the future

  • Things that your cutie may not like about themselves that you love

  • As many inside jokes as you can think of

  • Your favorite memories of times that were especially funny/romantic/etc

Sometimes a love list will be embedded in a different sort of love letter, like a general note where you’re telling your honey how much you love and miss them, and you insert a list of things you miss about them, but love lists make really pleasant stand-alone notes too.

Love lists can also make fun sexy notes if you want to list some of your favorite lovemaking moments, or favorite things you do when getting it on. In general, they’re very versatile!

On to the examples! My love lists usually follow a structured form where I repeat the same few words for the beginning of each sentence in the list. The following example shows how you can make a hypothetical love list about things that haven’t even happened yet:

…I can’t wait to keep learning and growing with you by my side. Let’s pick some really exciting grad schools together. Let’s save money for a trip in the next six months. Let’s keep loving each other (not hard at all). Let’s find new jobs and think about new cities to set our goals on. Let’s not forget about the creative outlets that we’re passionate about. Let’s make some huge pots of soup. Let’s go to a nice restaurant and get a little dressed up. Let’s watch some movies. Let’s go visit my parents. Let’s go to Chicago this autumn. Let’s make some art together. I love you so much. Let’s get a puppy…

Love lists can be about so many things—they can really focus on a bigger picture, or they can be very specific. They can encourage growth, or they can reminisce about times past. Here’s another example of a love list that focuses on very specific details:

…You’re simply the loveliest person I know, which makes it especially convenient that I get to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you at 3:30 in the morning when I’m sticky because I’m so hot in our sweaty apartment, and despite my attempts to inch away from your warmth, you follow me across the bed and say “hi” and make kissy noises. I love you when you try to force me to share food with you, but then you finish it anyway. I love you when you tickle me and I crumble to a heap on the floor as a means to escape. I love you when you fall asleep for three hours in the afternoon and don’t text me back, and I know you’re fine, but I still worry anyway. I love you when you’re groggy after a nap and just want to hug. I love you when I wake up first and tell you that you should get up soon, but you’re naughty and still in bed when I get out of the shower. I love you when I forget to reply to a text and you ask how I’m doing because you got a little worried even though it’s only been twenty minutes. I love you in the morning when I have soft dreams of us making love and awaken to do just that—eyes closed as our mouths find each other for sleepy kisses. I love you when you tell me I’m soft...

Love lists are the best when they’re very specific details. They can be serious, romantic, funny—anything. They’re guaranteed to make your belovèd feel extra special, and it’s always easy to think of things that you adore.

Regular Ole’ Love Letters

For a general love letter, you can really write about whatever you’d like. These can get extremely sentimental and mushy, but really, what’s the point of writing any declaration of love that isn’t sentimental and mushy?

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I generally encourage writing how you feel, and not being afraid to be too sappy or over-romantic—that’s the point! If you think about your lover all the time, write, I think about you all the time. Throw in those little specific details, but don’t fixate on making them perfect. I think if you’re going for a classic love letter, you should be as over-the-top as possible. Here’s an excerpt:

I want to be near you every hour of the day, though I’m especially fond of the early mornings when we’re barely awake and full of sleepy kisses, whispered sighs, and peaceful breathing.

There’s no one else like you and the fact that I managed to find you and that I get to keep you, well, I’m honestly the luckiest girl in the world. I hope you never tire of my cliché declarations of love, because I’m so stuffed with them that if I don’t express them periodically, I will actually burst with all the love I have for you, you incredible, wonderful, lovely boy. I feel like the more I tell you, the more I want to tell you! I love you, I love you!

Gushy? Check! Ridiculously emotional? Check! Heartfelt? Absolutely. However, you’ll notice that of the three types of love notes that we’ve covered in the guide, this one is the least specific to either the writer or the receiver of the note. If you’d like to incorporate all three styles into one letter, all the better!

And of course, if you’re looking for the entire package, spend some time writing a few love notes, and book a Mod Bettie session to really knock your lover’s socks (and the rest of their clothes) off.

Tell us your favorite writing tips!

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10 Romantic Films to Watch Every Autumn

Two of the things I love most in this world are the month of October and, well, love. When it comes to love and autumn, I would be hard-pressed to find a better way to indulge than by settling down for a few of my favorite lovey-dovey movies each year once the leaves begin to change. If you’re in dire need of some films to get you in the mood for pumpkins, cozy sweaters, scenic walks, and of course finding the love of your life, check out the ones on this list!

1. Love Story (1970)

dir. Arthur Hiller

Love Story is the classic tale of handsome, pretentious, rich guy falls for sassy, smart, working-class girl, with a tragic twist, of course. The film takes place during the Fall Semester at Harvard University where our two lovers, Jenny and Oliver, meet and fall in love. Love Story is recognized as the 9th most romantic film by the American Film Institute, and though I recall watching it as a young girl and thinking it was five hours long, it clocks in at just under an hour and forty minutes. If you’re looking for a classic to really bring out the nostalia of fall, this is your film.

Paramount Pictures

Paramount Pictures

2. When Harry Met Sally (1989)

dir. Rob Reiner

I won’t pretend that I’m unbiased when it comes to this film. It’s my second favorite of all time, and everyone should see it. Starring Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal, When Harry Met Sally is the epitome of what a rom-com is supposed to be. It has romance, it has comedy, and it feels whole and real. The film primarily toys with the question, “can men and women ever really be just friends?” Set in NYC during the fall and winter months, the film boasts some gorgeous scenery, and the soundtrack by Harry Connick Jr. is warming to the ear.   

Columbia Pictures

Columbia Pictures

3. You’ve Got Mail (1998)

dir. Nora Ephron

Nora Ephron, who wrote the screenplay for When Harry Met Sally, favored a number of ingredients for her films. She loved New York—specifically in the autumn—she loved strong female leads, and she loved for Meg Ryan to play those leads. You’ve Got Mail was made nearly a decade after When Harry Met Sally, but it still has many of those stylistic elements that Ephron is known for—witty banter, love interests that seem to detest each other, and nostalgia. Staring Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan, You’ve Got Mail is a cute tale about how love always seems to crop up where it’s least expected.

Warner Bros.

Warner Bros.

4. Runaway Bride (1999)

dir. Gary Marshall

This sweet 90s classic is definitely underrated, and if you’re looking for a feel-good comedy that’s certain to have a happy ending (no matter how many escapes-on-horseback it takes to get there), this is the one. The story follows a young woman (Julia Roberts) who has trouble following through on her numerous engagements, and the handsome reporter (Richard Gere) who winds up falling for her. The small town where the story takes place lends itself beautifully to a bit of fall scenery, and the chemistry between Gere and Roberts is always irresistble. 

Paramount Pictures

Paramount Pictures

5. Autumn in New York (2000)

dir. Joan Chen

I’ll clarify from the beginning that this film isn’t the best, but would a list of autumn romance films really be complete without it? I don’t think so. The film follows the relationship of a 40-something man (Richard Gere) and a 20-something woman (Winona Ryder) as they traipse around New York and around their own feelings. If you’re in the mood for a dramatic, tragic, winding tale of love where the actors don’t have great chemistry, give this a shot. At best, there are some lovely scenes of NYC in the fall.

Metro Goldwyn Mayer

Metro Goldwyn Mayer

6. The Lake House (2006)

dir. Alejandro Agresti

We all have those movies that we love because we saw them when we were young and impressionable, and when we watch them later in life, they may seem a little cheesy or exaggerated. The Lake House is a perfect example of one of those films (for me). The concept is muddled; two people live in the same house at different points in time, and they write letters to each other through the house’s mailbox while maintaining their existence within their own present. The result is a somewhat confusing, nostalgic, winding love story, but the mood of the film is perfect for a rainy fall afternoon. Plus, who can pass up Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves?

Warner Bros.

Warner Bros.

7. Juno (2007)

dir. Jason Reitman

While Juno takes place across several seasons, it has a pleasantly reflective autumn segment, and the coming-of-age themes of the film offer the perfect wistfulness for end-of-the-year viewing. If you aren’t familiar, Juno is a story of teen pregnancy, budding love, parental relationships, and adult romantic relationships, all tied together with a fantastic cast. The film made numerous top ten lists by critics the year it was released, and it won the Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay. If you haven’t seen it, you definitely should, and if you have, you definitely should again. 

Fox Searchlight

Fox Searchlight

8. (500) Days of Summer (2009)

dir. Marc Webb

Here’s a film that, despite the title, does not take place exclusively in summer. This quirky, not-a-love-story love story has all of the requirements for our list: nostalgic, romantic, set partially during autumn, etc. Staring Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel, the nonlinear narrative structure of the movie has drawn comparisons to classics the likes of Annie Hall and High Fidelity, and critics were quick to praise the film. The year it was released, I watched it at least once a week, and it makes a perfect annual fall film (though to be fair, you could watch it any time of year and it would seem appropriate).

Fox Searchlight

Fox Searchlight

9. Submarine (2010)

dir. Richard Ayoade

This is our only film on the list that does not take place in the United States. Considering that we so dramatically associate fall with American foliage and traditions, many of the films that feel so utterly autumn to us are American. This film though, is a lovely little breakaway from that. Submarine is set in Wales in the 80s. It’s a slightly eccentric and artistic coming of age film about an unpopular fifteen-year-old boy who has an infatuation with a girl in his class. The film is full of overcast skies, winter jackets, and wind-swept hair. I would place this as the most experimental movie on the list, but it genuinely has beautiful images and music.

The Weinstein Company

The Weinstein Company

10. Silver Linings Playbook (2012)

dir. David O. Russell

First, consider the cast: Jennifer Lawrence, Bradley Cooper, Robert De Niro, Julia Styles, and others. Following the story of a man with bipolar disorder as he tries to win back his ex wife and meets someone new along the way, the film has both intensely funny and seriously heartbreaking plot points. Jennifer Lawrence won an Academy Award for her role, and the general tension mixed with humor that the movie exudes is excellent. And we mustn’t forget that the film boasts some really nice fall features—leaves, football, sweaters (or garbage bags over sweaters), and so on. 

The Weinstein Company

The Weinstein Company

What are some of your favorite fall romances?

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